(Time market)


A time ago, a necessary drama,

girls giggling, gold skin like autumn

(forgotten memory)

Something about the places

we had not yet been

or the places we should’ve gone, linger

(passing car)

an opportunity in the morning

the warmth in my guts, tingling

the warmth in my heart, glowing

here, at the very limits of myself

far more dangerous

than I ever imagined.



By the windows of time market

in the corner, by the giggling girls

I can still hear their laughter echo

through the canyon walls of my mind

(forgotten memory)

Something is slipping through the cracks

as they drilled me into the ground

and then asked condescendingly

“What’s wrong with you? What’s the matter?”

(a young couple talks over breakfast)

They said that making me better

meant the destruction

of all that I’ve worked to build

(forgotten memory)

In the corner, the girls are laughing

with invincible joy.



It feels good to write this down,

to see ink meet paper,

to see light in the room.

I actually think I might make it

when I hear the girls laughing.

Have you too been tainted?

Virgin hands holding the hot coupling.

Have you too died?

The world welcomes you

on that cold ground

eyes full of hope and wonder

(I pause to look behind me)



I start again.

The sound of laughing girls,

their skin untouched by the needle,

their skin pressed by the needle.

I did not know until then

how much it would affect me

ink on skin, and the giggles

that fell out of them so easily

the sun at my back

as they sit in front of me

talking face to face

able to face the drama

and still overcome.



It takes more effort to laugh now than it ever did.

In the back of the car

(forgotten memory)

the red line on the pavement

that denotes the places I cannot go

but have.

To the places that make me

more human

and the freedom

to reach the end of myself

and laugh.

(I nod my head in agreement)



It’s all a loss in the end

whether or not

the girls are laughing

But for this moment

I celebrate its victory

Over time and death.

(I stand up from my seat)

I really don’t want to leave this corner

by the windows of time market

next to the giggling girls,

but I also know I can’t stay.